WTF? New Year's Evil

"This New Year's, you're invited to a killer party..."

Released by the Cannon Group in December of 1980 NEW YEAR'S EVIL is 90 minutes of pure Bad-Movie-Loving-WTF bliss! Written & directed by Emmett Alston (Demonwarp, and many ninja flicks) it chronicles the New Year's Eve of punk rock maven Blaze aka Diane Sullivan (Roz Kelly aka Happy Days' Pinky Tuscadero) in what could easily be her career swan song. Blaze is hosting a Los Angeles New Year's Eve telecast (or should I say simulcast because somehow she's on the radio as well as the TV) and gets a call that will change her evening ... perhaps her life.

The call comes in from a man who simply calls himself EVIL, and promises to deliver her a death at every strike of midnight in every time zone. The final one will be "someone very close to her."

This film is filled with many many wonderful WTF moments, especially as the story unravels. Kelly's character becomes so annoying that the viewer may find themselves rooting for the murderer, hoping the whole time that Blaze will meet her demise at midnight, therefore starting all of our New Year off fresh. It doesn't amaze me that Kelly really didn't go on to do much acting after 1983. Her most recent claim to fame an is alleged probation violation. She was arrested in Los Angeles after her ex-boyfriend told police that she hit him on the back with a cane. Prior to that, she touts a 1998 arrest for allegedly going all "Ma Kettle" on a car alarm with a shotgun.

The film begins with the introduction of Blaze as well as Blaze's troubled son. The storyline with the son (Grant Cramer) unwinds until you're just wondering WhyTF is the character in there in the first place? At first ignored by his mother, we discover he's mentally ill. He pops pills, proceeds to 'deflower' one of his mother's nylon pantie hoses, and crushes a bouquet of roses he couldn't even give her. Plot lines suggest that perhaps he had an Oedipus complex with the mother or perhaps was being molested by his mom. WTF?

The New Wave rock show was complete with seemingly zombie-esque dancing extras who seemed never to really understand as actors that the goal is to NOT look into the camera. Their special snazzy 80's wardrobe, provided by LET IT ROCK in Hollywood (I'm not making that up. It's in the credits) couldn't really distract us from recognizing that about 75% of the songs suggested were not even New Wave, and the band was playing a Blues songs too. WTF?

Kip Niven stands out as giving an entertaining performance as EVIL, the killer. However, while calling Blaze, his voice is transformed into what sounds like a British diplomat speaking into an oscillating fan. As he kills his victims he records his targets on an archaic tape recorder which hangs off his shoulder like a Luis Vitton hand bang. His actions seem effortless, mostly because he's being tracked by some of the worst bumbling police officers in the San Fernando Valley. His mostly blond bimbo-like victims don't necessary end up in a huge bloody mess. Somehow I can't help that they should've seen it coming. I was most taken by the fact that when an overweight cop was bludgeoned by Niven, his XL cop's uniform magically fit the pencil thin attacker after a clever "switch" by Mr. Evil.

Had this film had a casting director assigned to it, it may have ended up with a lot less WTF acting moments. It does however showcase some great Los Angeles locations that aren't here anymore. One in particular is the old Van Nuys drive-in movie theatre. (15040 Roscoe Boulevard) What a jem!

What this film also has is a concrete plot (sans a real motive) that promises a calculated demise to its victims. A "death every midnight" is a little more reminicent of a pre-80's plot line, though I would hardly call it a modern day Hitchcock thriller. At least it doesn't seem as gratuitous as some of its sister films of its time. I can only hope that I will get the chance to see this film again in a packed theatre with people cheering on the killer.

If you'd like to get ahold of some of the songs from NYE check out the band SHADOW at http://68.99.226.85:5803/Shadow/download.html

You can go to the Downloads section and pick up the two tracks from their 45rpm. (A full soundtrack was never actually released.)

If you'd like to check out the fun Cannon films site, click here! http://www.cannon.org.uk/

Don't Let Me Be Misunderstood

Just wanted to put a little blurb on here-

As the rock band, The Animals, used to sing - "Please don't let me be misunderstood!"

Over the course of writing some of these "reviews" on my WTF Cinema Blog I've actually come across interviews and articles with some of the people that created these gems. Hey, I live in Los Angeles. It's an occupational hazard! I want people who do read this blog to understand that I didn't create it to "knock" these bad movies just to celebrate them.

As an actor in Los Angeles you realize that many creative people out there are very possessive and protective of their emotional feelings of the work they put out. Why wouldn't they be? It put food on their tables and clothes on their back. It may have helped them buy a car, a house, put their kids through college... whatever.

Years ago when I was working press and publicity in Chicago for WCIU-TV, CH. 26, "The U" I had the fortunate opportunity to escort and book local TV, Radio, and Newspaper interviews for some great personalities; Judge Judy, Queen Latifah, and many many more. One person that struck me as most interesting was Judge Mills Lane. Most famous for being the ref in the famous Evander Holyfield/Spinks bite-the-ear-off boxing match, Mills Lane was thrown into the TV spotlight and given his own TV show. When I asked him why he did it, he said, "Tony, I just want to put my kids through college and give them a good life."

I had the wonderful opportunity to act in the new Harvey Keitel film coming out next year called The Last Godfather. This film is oh so special to me because it will be my first studio feature film. You never forget your first of anything. No matter what the final result and reviews are I will always hold that film, and the people I worked with, in a very special place in my heart.

So if you read these little write ups on all these fabulous bad movies I love, understand that I fully expect everyone to go out and rent them or catch them at your local art house, if they come around. I can't imagine life without them.

MTV Movie Awards Best WTF Moment - WTF?!

Just wanted to put a link to this little gem dreamt up by the greats over at THE 2010 MTV Movie Awards. How I would love to be the presenter of THIS award! Kudos to coming up with a category for the best WTF moment of the past year in film. Although I'm not a strong believer in ALL their choices I do have to say that Ken Jeong's naked rampage definitely raises him up a tier from working actor to name actor! It's truly funny, and weird with a whole lot of WTF!

Voting is still open for the awards. Here's a link to the page!

http://www.mtv.com/ontv/movieawards/2010/best-wtf-moment/

Popcorn - WTF?!

So my buddy and I were scanning for a silly fun horror movie to enjoy. Thanks to my new Netflix on demand we stumbled on the 1991 low budget tasty treat called Popcorn. This 1991 93 minute thriller tells the story of a bunch of film loving kids deciding to throw their own all night B movie horror fest. The fun goes bad when a killer from the past does damage in a bloody & campy one victim after another entr'acte that will have you saying WTF!?

Our goofy fun begins with the heroine Maggie (1989 Phantom of the Opera’s Jill Schoelen) waking up from a vivid and horrible dream. Instead of an ultimate freak out she

records the highlights on her trusty tape recorder. Here we learn she’s writing a screen play from the images in her dreams.

When Maggie finally gets to class we meet her fellow film students and their teacher , Mr. Davis (played by veteran Broadway star Tony Roberts). In the class is the gamut of your typical students; the jock, the handicapped kid; the saucy blonde; the African American street chick and more. A vapid discussion of the world’s best films takes place ranging from classic film greats to Police Academy 5. The volley is brought to a halt when Mr. Davis announces the semester project; an all night B-movie horror fest that will have kids paying a whole $10 per ticket to experience 3 great B-movies in all their movie gimmick glory.

The class journeys over to explore their location, the beautiful "Dreamland Theatre." They meet experienced showman Dr. Mnesyne (My Favorite Martian’s Ray Walston) who leaves trunks of fabulous costumes and props as well as a mysterious can of film. The group agrees to screen the film.

Mostly all of them seem humored by the visions of eyeballs and bloody mouths called The Possessor, except for Maggie who quickly learns that her film she’s dreaming already exists. We then learn his film was shown 15 years ago but never completed and the film maker killed his family onstage while showing it but the theatre burned down before the screening could complete. WHEW! Confused? I hope not. It seems The Possessor is now back to finish the film with more slayings along with the ride. Maggie’s Mom (Dee Wallace Stone) seems supportive but disbelieving of her daughter’s stories until she intercept’s a phone call from The Possessor vowing revenge on her daughter. It’s nice to see Stone at the height of her horror movie maven career. She does her best acting later in the film being wheeled around on a dolly in a body cast by the villain. After many of our main characters get “offed” one-by-one (ironically in ways relating to the films the kids are screening (ala electrocution, giant mosquito bites, etc.)), the film ends with a twist that I can honestly say, I was not expecting. Tom Villard (We Got It Made/My Girl) plays a hauntingly f-ed up Freddy Krueger ala Jim Carrey type.

Although there were many many WTF moments in this film I have to admit... I really liked it. It was fun and corny (I can’t resist!) but certainly entertaining and when I wasn’t LMAO, I was genuinely scared. I love the many many homages to 1950’s and 1960’s horror films. The Mosquito, The Stench, The Electrified Man; the 3 films the kids screened that night had great 50’s recreations of all the William Castle-type looks and feels, complete with wired seats (like in The Tingler) and cable tracked creatures (like in House on Haunted Hill), as well as a busy prop dept. bevy of special film extras’ movie glasses (like in 13 Ghosts)! Kudos to the enthusiastic & wonderful extras in the audience who seemed to be really having a great time while “watching” the film classics in the movie.

Now, you viewers of the ACTUAL movie (Popcorn, that is) may be asking yourself some pretty important WTF questions. Like, “Why are they going to all this trouble sprucing it up if the theater’s getting torn down in a few weeks? What’s up with Dee Wallace Stone’s abduction scene complete with self-propelled marquee letters flying off onto her face? Why is the romantic hunky male lead so incessantly accident prone? Why do all the kids listen to so much reggae music? Why is the band in the film only playing Ossie D And Stevie G’s upbeat Reggae music?” and, “How, during the films climactic blackout scene, can the band onstage be playing electric instruments?”

This movie is a definite blend of Matinee meets William Castle meets Nightmare on Elm Street. Ties to the Freddy Krueger franchise included the film’s director Mark Herrier who also worked on the Nightmare on Elm Street TV series and actress Kelly Jo Minter who starred in Nightmare on Elm Street Part 3. Herrier, best known up until then as Billy in the Porky’s movie series, made this his directing debut after replacing writer/director Alan Ormsby only 3 short weeks in to production. The film boast no less than 9 producers, 2 Directors, 2 writers & an awesome late 80‘s original score thanks to composer Paul Zaza (Porky’s/A Christmas Story). In the art department and special effects category no less than 41 visual effects artists and Artistic Directed by John Myhre now famous for his production designs on films like X-Men, Chicago, Dreamgirls, and Nine.

Popcorn was originally titled Phantom of the Cinema then changed to callback a bit later cut from the film. In Germany it was titled Skinner, which is also apropos to the film’s plot line. (When you see it you’ll know what I mean). It made a miserable 4.2 million and took close to 14 months after film completion to be released in theaters. It finally hit DVD in 2001.

As a member of the Los Angeles Historic Theatre Foundation, I think one of the most compelling things about this film is the character of the ACTUAL movie theatre where Popcorn was filmed. A majority of the film was shot in Jamaica. This helps to answer at least two of my WTF questions! The "Dreamland Theatre" shown in the film is actually 1912 built Ward Theatre in Kingston, Jamaica. After excessive damage done to the building by Caribbean hurricanes as well as preservation by neglect, the Ward still stands in Kingston today. It is deep in the middle of a multi million dollar restoration project set to be “re-unveiled” in December 2012, on its 100th birthday.

Pics & more info on the restoration can be found here - http://www.wardtheatrefoundation.com/album.php?album=Need%20Your%20Help

WTF Quotes and Taglines from Popcorn:

“I Look like a fucking snow-cone!”

“The Possessor. Fifteen years ago, he murdered his family on stage and burned down the theater. Tonight... he's back for an encore!”

“Buy a bag, go home in a box.”

Lady Cocoa - WTF?!

This week’s WTF film is a special flick that is near and dear to my heart. The 1975 fantastic Blaxploitation journey of Lady Cocoa (A.K.A. Pop Goes The Weasel), starring Lola Falana, will have you absolutely rolling on the floor with camp laughter. Here’s the premise; Cocoa (Falana) gets a 24 hour get-out-of-jail-free card if she’ll narc on her no good criminal hustler boyfriend in a court of law. She cashes in on her card, sexy style, and the companionship of her protective custody/steamy leading man Doug (Gene Washington). Along for the ride is Detective Ramsey (Alex Dreier), sort of a Raymond Burr starter kit, who is continually torn between the task of keeping Cocoa in line and tracking down the bad guy.

We have to thank writer George Theakos and cult film director Matt Cimber for this wonderful low budget masterpiece that mixes a gritty underworld of drugs and crime with a beautiful young Falana; all set in Lake Tahoe’s glitzy King’s Castle backdrop. This 35mm Mono-sound Masterpiece was the last of 3 films the two worked on together as writer and director. They’re also responsible for The Black Six and The Candy Tangerine Man. Cimber started his career as a NYC live theater director and was probably best known as the ex-husband of actress Jayne Mansfield. Cimber met Mansfield on a revival production of Bus Stop and directed her in the awful Mansfield swan-song film Single Room Furnished (1968).

WTF moments ooze from the screen throughout this entire film. Let’s start with one of the longest opening scenes/title sequences I’ve seen in a long time. In wonderful exposition the first 15 minutes of the film volley back and forth between Ramsey and Doug unlocking Cocoa out of jail, the loooong car ride to Lake Tahoe, and credits backed by Falana singing the film’s catchy yet coquettish theme song, “Pop Goes the Weasel.” But brace yourself. You’ll hear this theme song possibly a dozen or more times throughout this 93 minute grind-house achievement. You hear it as a groovy dance track in the hotel club; a stinger for the comedic room service guy; in a minor key when our hero & heroine are being stalked by the bad guys. Which version will be your favorite?

Oh and what about the bad guys? One of the two hit men stalking Cocoa and her heavy is none other than future Coca-Cola (irony?) commercial star “Mean Joe” Green! Even with a substantial amount of screen time, poor “Mean Joe” doesn’t get to utter one line of dialogue in the entire film!

Falana’s performance is not a terrible one (when you can understand her dialogue through the ear piercing squeak that is her speaking voice.) Okay, it's pretty ridiculous! This “hot piece of cheese” spends most of the film trying to prove to her companions that she is as smart as she looks by misquoting literary greats and taking what’s nearly 3 to 4 dozen hot showers. When she gets upset, she takes a shower. When she’s happy she takes a shower. When she’s riddled with fear she takes a shower. I can only imagine that it was the producer’s way of keeping her dressed only in a towel for 75% of the film. Falana didn’t go on to do a ton of acting after this film. She appeared on episodes of The Love Boat, Fantasy Island, and many variety shows in the 70’s and 80’s.

The entire motion picture plot line wraps up with what could quite possibly be the craziest twist you’ll ever see. Let’s just say that not everything is as it appears and “Pop Goes the Weasel” takes on a whole new connotation. It is a DO NOT DARE MISS WTF moment. The U.S. was blessed by the bad-movie Gods to have this lovely gem find national DVD release on 2/2/2002. Sure, technically this film has a lot to be desired. Hey, that’s why they call them Grind House Blaxploitation films! They weren’t produced to be technical master works; they were created to make money and entertain the masses.

Lady Coco, Miss Lady Luck, took a gamble and got stuck 'cause "Mean" Joe Greene ain't playin' when he goes slayin'.

They traded her life in the slammer for 24-hours of fun in a Nevada Casino. But MURDER was the big pay-off!

(5/19/10 update!) OK so the original vid that I posted has been removed. Until I can get some footage from the film, here's some wonderful clips from Lola Falana's Italian Variety Specials!

House- WTF?!

So I apologize to my followers but I haven't written in a while. However I saw a film recently that forced me, nay inspired me, to start writing this blog once again. What film could be so powerful you ask?

The film is titled HOUSE - (Hausu) from 1977.

Once again, I have to thank the wonderful New Beverly Cinema for unearthing this new 35mm print direct from Janus films. Hollywood and the New Bev is the third on a multi city tour. This crazy film is billed as a Japanese Psychedelic Horror extravaganza. It completely lives up to its description.

This film had me crying with WTF laughter and yet told a great story that was (somewhat) easy to follow. It tells the story of a group of girls, deciding to spend their summer vacation at a house in the country. The house is owned by one of the girls' unusual aunts. Each girl's name suits their personality; Mac (the over eater), Gorgeous, Kung-fu, Melody (the piano player), and so on... one by one the girls meet their demise in some of the most unusual ways. By the end we learn that the story is told "in the name of love."

The true WTF moments of this film completely lie with how this story is told by the film's director Nobuhiko Obayashi. Without spoiling it for the future viewer I will only mention a tiny bit of what to expect as an audience member: animated rainbows, piano playing cats, talking watermelons, Benny Hill-type "quick motion" action, ethereal step moms, people eating pianos, and so much more.

HOUSE has to be the craziest roller coaster ride of a movie I've been on in decades. An upside down acid induced loopty loop of Japanese imagery and weirdness, forcing the viewer to contemplate a lobotomy for the sheer enjoyment of the healing process. House is a cascade of do-as-you-please storytelling with a clever twist of humor and delight.

This film is not yet released on DVD in the US, although the rumor is that once it finishes its U.S. tour it may come out soon. It plays this week at the New Beverly Cinema now thru Wednesday. It is an absolute must see! Here's a Link to its touring schedule.

Here's are just a few of the quotes from the flier of The New Bev:

Run. Wake your neighbor. Slap your children. Eye your cat with suspicion. Every once in a blue-screen moon, a movie will remind even the most jaded of cult-film aficionados that, no, in fact, they have not seen everything.
- Jim Ridley, The Nashville Scene

MUST-SEE-NOW - Delirious, deranged, gonzo or just gone, baby, gone - no single adjective or even a pileup does justice to House. - Manohla Dargis, The New York Times

FOUR STARS - Like a stream-of-consciousness nightmare sprung from a troubled head resting on a hot-pink pillow.
- Joshua Rothkopf, Time Out New York

THE ULTIMATE MIDNIGHT MOVIE - This phantasmagoric head-trip has to be one of the strangest and most surreal movies ever made. - Matt Singer, IFC.com

I LOVE THE NEW BEV!!!

Below is the trailer. Here's a link to the Janus Films' website. I can't say enough that if this movie comes anywhere within a 165 mile radius of your hometown, it's worth a 3 hour drive to revel in its ineffable grandeur.