Teen Witch - WTF?

Ironically, I was having a conversation today with my best friend about Witch Movies. Which witch films are the best? Which are the worst? Which ones are awful but fun to watch? After several names like Witches of Eastwick, Hocus Pocus, 1 of 4 of the stories in 4 Rooms, Witches, etc. were batted around, we headed home from our lunch in WeHo and were deciding what to watch when I realized we had a Netflix sitting in the living room. It happened to be Teen Witch. Now I must admit, I hadn't really heard of this one until my good friend, Hayden, sent me a link to a YouTube post called Top This! It was a musical number: 1 of many from this movie. After seeing it I immediately went to my cue and bumped it to the top. I knew this was TOTALLY gonna fall into the WTF category.

Teen Witch (1989) is the story of Louise Miller (Robyn Lively.) She's tormented by the popular girls in school, and totally 

embarrassed in front of her class when her brother Richie (played by creepy kid star Joshua John Miller of Class of 1999) leaves a diary page in her creative writing assignment, which is then read aloud in front of her hot crush Brad (Dan Gauthier.) Gauthier proceeds to run her off the road and Lively seeks refuge at the mysterious home of psychic Madame Serina (Zelda Rubenstein, the little lady from Poltergeist.) Lively then learns a week before her 16th birthday that she's "special." After a series of wonderful montages and trickery spells she suddenly becomes "the popular girl" herself, and wins over Gauthier but for all the wrong reasons. And to top it all off Dick Seargant (one of the two Darrens in Bewitched) plays her father. Sergeant noticeably wears WAY too much eyeliner as he plays the doting father cast WAY too old as her father in this WTF film. 

There are sooo many oh so wonderful WTF  moments in this film - Let's start with it's a musical! ... filled with oh sooo many badly sung crazy choreographed rap and dance numbers that seem to bounce out of nowhere- it smells of something out of Breakin' or Breakin 2 but the camp value is turned way up to 11. Also, the wonderful 80's clothing, hairstyles, and references steal the show. There's even a moment when Lively's character is compared to Punky Brewster. Also the hot boyfriend crush Brad (Gauthier) is sort of like a poor man's Tom Cruise, only hotter looking. Kudos to Director Dorian Walker for getting his groove on with all the slo-mo (emphasis on MO) shots of Gauthier working out on the football field. Throw in Marsha Wallace (The Bob Newhart Show, Mrs. Krabappel in The Simpsons) as the crazy drama teacher;  a dykey best friend who's storyline never seems to get resolved; and Rubenstein's creepy character that eventually leads to a weird lap-dancingesque tender moment with Lively.

This film, for sure, is a DO NOT MISS 80's classic that is all in all just... magical!

The Mechanic and Mr. Majestyk - A Charles Bronson WTF? Double Feature

WOW! Wow is all I can say. Those who know me know that I love going to a little art house in West Hollywood called The New Beverly Cinema. I came across this place many years ago after moving to Los Angeles and the people who run it really have screened some real fun gems in the past.

Last night I had the great fortune to see a Charles Bronson double feature. The first was a film called The Mechanic (1972) and the second was called Mr. Majestyk (1974). Both these films are available on Netflix and DVD but If you're lucky enough to see them on the big screen then run to the theater and support whoever is screening them.

The Mechanic  shows Bronson as a well trained assassin setting up his most recent hit. In what probably is the films opening 20 minutes, it meticulously sets the mood and you get a clear understanding of what this film is about. Keenan Wynn is Bronson's go between, until a hit is ordered on him. Bronson is reconnected with Wynn's son, played by pre-motocycle-accident-sexy Jan Michael Vincent, who inevitably becomes Bronson's protege. All is good until Bronson discovers a hit is ordered on himself. 

Although this has many wonderful WTF moments, it still manages to entertain. Bronson has a few limits when it comes to lengthy dialogue and for a good reason; he doesn't need dialogue. Is it just me or did I also sense a unusual homoerotic energy between Bronson and Vincent? None the less other WTF moments include; a visit to Bronson's girlfriend's apartment (later we find out she's his hooker),  a wacky group of Vincent's friend partying in his deceased father's house, a visit to Vincent's girlfriend's place (which includes the two helping her commit suicide), a wacky car chase in California complete with affluent party goers falling into a swimming pool, and a car chase through Italy: the last includes possibly one of the longest car-going-over-a-cliff sequences I've ever seen - so long that the moviegoers in the theater erupted in unanimous applause at it's completion! (Trailer) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V9QekeOkSi8

As far as Mr. Majestyk, ... also highly entertaining. When Bronson is arrested for defending his land, a watermelon plantation he creates an enemy out of a fellow inmate/ hit man.  The two proceed to be the only two surviving members of a prison break and Bronson takes over as he kidnaps the hit man. For the rest of the movie it's all about the hit man and his goons seeking revenge. A great little WTF moment in this flick was Bronson's never ending dedication just to "get back to his melons."

Trailer:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AJcXWrtODzM

Here's a couple links to IMDB if you'd like to learn more about the films! Get out there and see these two Charles Bronson films. Some believe they're his best two films produced.

The Mechanic: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0068931/

Mr. Majestyk : http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0071866/

Class of 1999 - WTF?

Well, let's start off by saying this film has redeeming qualities, but it's not as good as it's predecessor Class of 1984. Put this one into the CYBORG ROBOTS GOING BAD category for sure. Mark Lester follows his cult hit teacher-gone-vigilante favorite with a futuristic Seattle setting. Here we find that the students have still managed to completely take over and create "free zones" where police have no jurisdiction. 

The film stars some A list name actors for it's time: Malcolm McDowell as the pricipal of a High School gone really bad; Stacey Keach, as he leader of a cyborg robot teacher program, holding it's experiments at the school; and a pretty bodacious Pam Grier as one of 3 robot teachers programmed to keep order on a kaotic student body, as well as teach chemistry.

Grier steals the movie, I think, bringing her Foxy Brown-esque personality to her role as, simply, a bitch ya don't wanna mess with. There's also some decent special effects in the film's climactic ending, not CGI which was NOT a common use when the film was shot in the late 90's.  

This cult favorite also sports some great one liners:

• (after blowing up the History teacher) "You're history, teach!" 
  
• "Now be careful! These things are like a bad, fucked up, George Jetson nightmare!"
  
• "Do you trust him?" "Like I trust a vampire to give me a blow job."
  

The only WTF? moment I had regarding the script was Lester's intent. Was he shooting for a whole Empire Strikes Back feeling? I guess I'll have to run out and rent the 3rd film in the trilogy - Class of 1999 II. Why they didn't call it Class of 2000, I guess I have yet to find out.

If you're looking for Class of 1984, you won't find it. However, if you don't mind a fun Class of 1984 meets Mad Max with a dash of Terminator this flick's for you! 

There's not a trailer I can find for this movie just yet. I posted a little of Pam Grier on my YouTube page. I'll let you see more when you rent the film.

BIG MAN JAPAN - WTF?

Wow- well, as promised, I saw an amazing film tonight at The Nuart Theater in Los Angeles. BIG MAN JAPAN. Easily said folks, "If you're not drunk walking into this movie, you'll feel like you've been drinkin' by the time you walk out!"

Here's the original listing in from the Nuart schedule:

A middle-aged slacker living in a rundown, graffiti-ridden slum, Daisato's job involves being shocked by bolts of electricity that transform him into a stocky, stick-wielding giant several stories high who is entrusted with defending Japan from a host of bizarre monsters. But while his predecessors were national heroes, he is a pariah among the citizens he protects, who bitterly complain about the noise and destruction of property he causes. And Daisato (director/co-writer Hitoshi Matsumoto, a popular Japanese stand-up comic) has his own problems—an agent insistent on branding him with sponsor advertisements, an Alzheimer-afflicted grandfather who transforms into a giant in dirty underwear, and a family who is embarrassed by his often cowardly exploits. A wickedly deadpan spin on the giant Japanese superhero, Big Man Japan is an outrageous portrait of a pathetic but truly unique hero. (Fully subtitled) 

This offering comes from one man Japanese extraordinaire Hitoshi Matsumoto. Billed as a comedy it truly is a great WTF film to start off this blog with. Released in 2007 BIG MAN JAPAN finally makes it to the states. It's Japanese Title, Dai-Nipponjin, follows the story of the last in a long line of "Big Men." 

At the beginning, although a little slow, Matsumoto builds the anticipation by teasing the audience with traces of hints of what he does. Being followed around by TV cameras on his own reality show. After finally getting a call - He springs into action, heads to the local power plant and gets shocked with enough electricity to expand him into a huge not-respected-by-the-townsfolk MONSTER FIGHTER! From there it gets crazier and crazier, battling one-eyed gargantuan beings and over-sized smelly old-women-monsters.  All n all, trying to gain respect that his predecessors (Including his grandfather "#4") once had as well as ratings.

Check the trailer out - the ending, well hell, I can't even begin to explain. Although my gut instincts tell me there's an underlying political message in it all. BIG MAN hints at a not so favorable impression of AMERICA while growing up, but in the end it's an AMERICAN freedom fighter team that saves the day. 

Just in case you want to read more on this film at IMDB:

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0997147/maindetails

WTFCinema - the beginning of a wonderful relationship?

WELCOME TO WTFCINEMA BLOG!

Well, hello there! It amazes me with all the crazy web installments out there, and ALL the fabulous networking sites like MySpace, Facebook, Twitter, etc; I've decided to start a new blog. As a movie lover and actor here in Los Angeles I love to go see crazy movies. I was lucky enough to meet my best friend over 14 years ago. We're huge fans of 'rarely seen gems' and 'hard to find' movies. 

Somehow I've always been intrigued by the weird, campy, and down right WTF films of worldwide cinema. There is such a charm to these films! If I travel off the beaten path- catch a rarity on DVD, or at the local art house - and feel like it's something someone would like to know about  - I'll share it here! 

Tomorrow's Blog - A crazy ass Japanese Film to tempt your taste buds!